In case you’ve been wasting your time paying attention to “important” shit such as the presidential race or ISIS or something, it’s a pretty well-known fact that Britney Spears’ Instagram is the MOST IMPORTANT Instagram.
Whether it’s sharing #COOL #RELATABLE #CONTENT like pictures of her bruised knees…
…or confusing this self-portrait of da Vinci and the Vitruvian Man with God and Jesus, respectively…
…or sharing memes like the domestic goddess/no-bullshit-tolerating mom that she is, Britney Jean has been SLAYING your faves on Instagram for a while.
Britney just does things DIFFERENTLY than other pop stars — and we’re not talking about the fact she seriously needs to wipe the grease off her iPhone camera.
No, Miss Spears is a different kind of celeb online…but just HOW different is she?
For most pop stars, Instagram is where you share museum-quality shots of your picture-perfect lifestyle.
Take Beyoncé. She’s enjoying a tropical vacation, and can’t even be bothered to look at the camera while the photographer (probably Michelle Williams, TBH) takes the picture.
It’s all very hoity-toity.
But Britney couldn’t even bother to wipe the grime off her iPhone before she uploaded this selfie to Instagram. Her hair is askew, and she isn’t trying to play it ~chill~ for her audience.
It’s all very raw, real, and unfiltered.
When pop stars like Selena Gomez upload selfies to Instagram, they look like they belong in the Louvre. Everything about this photo is perfect. Selena’s hair and makeup are red carpet ready. The lighting is on point.
She looks AMAZING.
Britney, on the other hand, isn’t trolling for likes. Her face is bruised (she walked into a pole before taking this picture, IDKIDK) and she’s clearly NOT about to walk a red carpet.
It’s so…relatable.
How about pictures with your man candy? Normally, pop stars like Taylor Swift take “candid” pictures with their hot, shirtless European boyfriends that are perfectly filtered.
They blow you away with how perfect their lives are. Like, where’s MY Scottish hunk who models for Armani on the side?
Britney doesn’t play this game. From the looks of this picture, she was walking in the mall, saw a model hanging in the window of The Art of Shaving, and the thirst struck hard.
Britney is like us. She has needs.
Food pics are another way for pop stars like Katy Perry to show off their fab lives. Here she is in BANGKOK eating a scorpion. She might not have a Grammy, but Katy is clearly living life in the fast lane.
Also, did she actually eat the scorpion?
While Katy had to go all the way to Asia to get her food picture, Britney didn’t even get off her couch. Sheliterally googled a picture of corn, screenshot it, and then uploaded to Instagram.
Slay, queen of laziness.
Let’s stay on food pics for a hot second.
Here, Nicki Minaj shares some #SPON #CONTENT, hoping to convince you to buy some Myx Moscato. Everything from the pool in the background to the ripeness of the raspberries is TOP-NOTCH and MOUTHWATERING.
Side note: Has anyone in the history of the world ever ACTUALLY had Myx Moscato? I think Nicki just raps about it.
Then there’s Britney. She doesn’t give a flying fuck about “production values.” Her picture of half-eaten bread is blurry, the lighting sucks, and she literally uploaded the picture because the bread was “HOT.”
Because who doesn’t love warm carbs?
Ready for some #FITSPO? Pop divas like Ellie Goulding are into sharing perfectly staged photos of workouts that are squeezed into their insane celeb schedules. Despite the fact she’s working out, Ellie looks like an ethereal fairy.
Nice balance, Ellie.
Not our Britney Jean. She’s all about funny, plain Jane content, hence this HILARIOUS picture of her “saving” her mom while out on the trails. Just look at the silly face. Hikeney is the relatable fitness goddess we need in our lives.
Check out her face. ADORBS.
How about nature pics? Divas like Mariah Carey normally post FLAWLESS photos like this glamorous beach shot. Everything from the pose to the exotic beach locale induces envy. She looks like a Bond girl on vacation.
How are any of us supposed to attain this lifestyle?
Your guess is as good as mine as to what is happening here. I think Britney Instagrammed a picture of a bush while on a hike.
Britney has iconic taste in foliage.
Pop stars like Lady Gaga love to capture “real life” moments. Of course here, she’s guest editing an issue of V magazine in between takes of her Golden Globe–winning role on American Horror Story.
Yeah, SO relatable.
But our princess of Frappuccinos shared this intimate moment, and honestly, everything about it from the iPhone 5 (SHE STILL HASN’T UPGRADED HER DAMN PHONE) to the bad lighting and blurriness is just so…powerful.
Love. Werk. Slay.
Sometimes, pop stars use Instagram as a soapbox to make a statement. Here, Rihanna shares a super-saucy close-up of her…ugh…”bathing suit” and tells the paparazzi to screw off. It’s all very sassy.
Classic BadGalRiRi.
Britney just thinks mean people suck.
In conclusion, Instagram is just a platform for pop stars to show off how different their lives are — Miley Cyrus, for instance, doesn’t have a “regular” job so she can toke up on a random Monday.
We get it, Miley, YOU SMOKE WEED.
And then there’s Britney, who just wants a chocolate milkshake with her boys. SO CRAZY!!!
SLAY, QUEEN OF INSTAGRAM. SLAY!!!
FOX
We are not worthy.
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